new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
