He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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