the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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