I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
