Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
