big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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