for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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