Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My pussy is not your playground.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
