I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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