I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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