Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
