actually, I'm a sock model
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
