I look better un-naked...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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