Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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