I could have mohawked her pubes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
