You're completely useless in the revolution.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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