I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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