well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
