out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
