So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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