There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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