I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize