He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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