Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
