so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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