It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
