I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
