I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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