sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize