Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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