Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
