I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
