You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
