do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
