I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
