Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
