I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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