he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
