Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
