Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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