No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
