i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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