Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
