i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
