ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
