you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
