maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
