my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
