sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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