she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
