He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
this just has baby written all over it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
