i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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