Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
