Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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