I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize